- Fri Apr 10, 2020 8:23:25 am
#24738
ADVANTAGE advantage Advantage Hidden Immunity Idol HII Hidden Immunity Idol clue clue clue extra vote extra vote idol nullifier idol nullifier
You know I am going to be trying random words in my spam thread now going forward. Might be a total waste of time but spending like 4 hours idol searching isn't exactly the biggest contribution to society when I could be sewing masks for the hospital workers or something heroic. But as I am learning more about my Viking ancestors clearly I am a barbarous villain much like them. I now see where I get my strategic, cut throat survival brain.
So I smoked some weed last night, first time doing that since the game started I think. And I drank a bottle of wine. The truth comes out when I am stoned/drunk. I tried to stay away from the board at that point but I am obsessive and could not resist. I had an amazing connection with Loveita last night. That chick is a fucking genius. I have played a ton of these over the years, and I have yet to meet someone who has the level of intellect she has... she is a fucking genius. Her and I spent like 2 hours yesterday trying to find that idol. For that fact alone, I feel totally bonded with her. And I am fully aware that other people in the game feel they can trust Loveita and that she may be dangerous... Like I don't doubt that at some point she would screw me over if it was a smart move, which at some point down the road it very well could be for her. But I took a risk anyway and poured my heart out to her last night. I truly enjoy her. Her brain works very similarly to mine when it comes to her approach to playing this game. So I solidified my first finals alliance with her last night. I am fully aware that she could fuck me over, but I don't think it would be to her benefit to do so. She is a statistics/psychology teacher. She is a complete gamer, she understands playing the odds because that really is the smartest approach to this game... you're constantly taking a risk (even playing it safe is taking a risk) so it's all about mitigating risk, making decisions that give you the highest odds of long term survival. But you are dealing with human beings who are unpredictable, so even when you do something you think is a low risk move, someone else could always fuck it up by doing something unexpected. So the name of the game is predicting what people you have never met will do. Or in some cases, predicting what people you have met before in these games will do.
I remember now why I just had to quit ORGs cold turkey in 2011. I am not the type of person who cannot give my whole heart/mind to something. When I am playing a game with the intention of winning, it completely consumes my thoughts. when I lie in bed at night I toss and turn for probably a whole hour if not longer, constantly running different scenarios in my brain. I'm terrified of making the wrong move because one fuck up and it's all over. The ODDS of me making the merge are high at this moment. First, there is a 2/3 chance that we win the challenge and it's a done deal. We have amazing teamwork as proven in the first challenge and how we approached the last round (even Loveita who was a fucking genius with her 9:58 time). Then, assuming that Loveita/Cristina are fully with me which I feel pretty good that they are, we have the majority of the votes with my extra vote advantage. The part I am terrified about is which of those three do we put our four votes on if it comes down to it? If we vote for the person who has the idol, it is game over for one of us. And I truly do not have a clue which of us three the other side would vote for. Could very well be me! While I have built pretty good bonds with Penner/Cass at this point, do you think I trust them to not write my name down?? HELL NO! These people are winners they are devious as fuck... It's hard to call yourself a true winner if you're not willing to be devious as hell and cut throat. I mean I LOVE Penner, like the human being that is playing Penner is totally someone I would be friends with in real life. Loveita too. Actually probably most of these people. I really got last night how awesome it is to be with like minded people... we are a rare breed and we are all over the globe. But as much as I adore Penner, think naughty thoughts about him, I don't want to have my feelings cloud what is the best strategic move. Maybe getting rid of him is... Personally I'd prefer Kim to go, but I have no idea if she may have the idol, or if they'd pass the idol to her... So it is a really tricky round if we end up having to go to tribal... So much could go wrong. The ODDS are good I will make it through even if we do, but there is no guarantee. I did some research and saw that Cass found idols in her previous seasons, so I feel like she is the most likely to have the idol if it has been found, and I can't imagine she wouldn't play it on herself to guarantee herself the merge... Especially since she went out of the game with the idol in one of her seasons... Has to have some PTSD about that.
Sorry this is such a rambling mess of a post with no organized structure about it. Just sort of downloading my thoughts as they come. One thought I had last night during my drunken high stupor was about how I just cut myself off from the ORG community in 2011. It's back to that thing about getting obsessive. I obsess over this game because I want to fucking win. ORGs truly are like a drug for me... I get addictive, and then things in my non virtual life start to slip. My business has shut down and I have been slacking at working on our rebuild plan for whenever this lockdown ends. But I have given myself permission to devote the next week to this game and sacrificing productivity in other areas of life for this... Since 2011 I have turned my obsessiveness into working and making money rather than gaming... So I am pretty clear that this will likely be the last game I will be playing FULL OUT... maybe ever. This is my last shot. I very well may lose but I will not lose this game for lack of trying. I'm putting my whole heart into this.
I mentioned this before but this game has truly been a God send for me. I'm reconnecting with my ancestors. I have gotten related to how important my family is to me. Like I had this profound thought last night like... I am only here to play this game because my parents had sex, my pairs of grandparents had sex, their eight parents did etc etc. Like I am mostly in life not at all present to the miracle of even existing, and then having the privilege to be able to devote hours of my life to playing my favorite game ever invented because I have been blessed enough to have money. It's been cool as I browse these wikipedia pages to think that I could be a descendant of one of these famous historical Viking figures... I'm suddenly fascinated with the lives of my grandparents, their parents, and digging into my genealogy. I have one living grandparent left, my grandma is 94 back in Minnesota. I hope I will get the chance to visit her and see her when this lockdown is all over. She taught me how to play card games, we always play cribbage when we're together. I get my competitive, strategic prowess from that woman. She is an angel. Ok I need to call my grandma.
