I am at a crossroads. Do I think I will make the swap? Yes. But my bottom line is that I just don't trust the alliance that I'm in. I was always worried that if it came down to it, Cochran would choose Cassandra and Penner over me and Tammy, and he proved it last night.
Also, this alliance in general is just... a joke. It's not an "alliance" if really only 2-3 people are actually making the decision, and then you leave the others completely in the dark until 10 minutes before tribal. We're supposed to be COLLABORATING, but instead I'm just being told what to do, with little to not input, with little to no time to even argue my case. It's dumb. Those aren't the kinds of players I want to be working with.
Tammy told me that she's not a fan of Penner- and that she never has been, and I'm just like... "why didn't you tell me this sooner?
"
But Tammy is torn on wanting to shake things up. I want to. I really do. I know Yve does too. But Aubry is totally unreliable. She told me herself that she "doesn't even wanna think about the boot" until after the challenge results, and I'm just thinking, how
daft can you be? The whole situation with her is tricky, because obviously she has to realize that she's not in the best spot here, and she will probably feel very grateful towards Penner and Cochran for effectively saving her butt last night, but on the other hand, shouldn't she at least have the good sense to realize that if she were to ride it out with them, that she's really just being strung along as a meat shield with no real agency? I mean, I just wanna yell at her about how much she needs to step up her game, but obviously I need to be a little bit more delicate if I want her on my side.
Jeff and Alex, ugh. Both them just seem very impressionable to me and will just do whatever the first person to get to them tells them to do
I feel like I've been making good progress with Jeff, but he's worried that because he has "no connections", that we need to play it safe and align with people who
do, but I just don't see that argument. It's only going to be a matter of time before someone like me or him is ganged up on precisely
because they don't have any past relationships. Jeff is playing way too scared right now. He told me himself he feels intimidated by this group but just from what I'm getting from him, he doesn't seem like he's even interested in trying to get into the driver's seat himself.
It's just really frustrating. I hate this.